Over Thanksgiving weekend my family and I enjoyed a few Christmas movies at my grandparent's house. During this time it occurred to me how frequently movies portray a man and a woman entering together into an empty house: alone. Sure, this is not new or a shock and I realize much worse things transpire in America's motion pictures, but this none-the-less stood out to me. The camera reveals the two casually entering and exiting an absent home without thinking twice. If they're in love they'll sometimes sit by the fireplace, snuggle up real close on the couch or even "innocently" sit on the bed to talk (like they did in two particular movies that we watched). Usually nothing happens (please note: we're talking about clean films here! Films exceeding this activity is obviously another story!) but it's just a fictional tale. In real life this would be a greatly playing with fire.
I utterly detest how Hollywood tries to convince us that this is perfectly normal, acceptable activity and that we're somehow stronger than temptation or temptation isn't a part of the picture at all.
The question we should ask is: what does the Bible have to say about this? Is this activity acceptable? Is it o.k. for a man and woman to be alone in an empty house even with good intentions?
God is unquestionably clear and His command can be summed in two words:
*FLEE immorality*
- 1 Cor. 6:18- Flee fornication...
- 1 Tim. 2:22- Flee also youthful lusts....
- 1 Thess. 4:3- ...abstain from fornication...
- 1 Peter 2:11- ...abstain from fleshly lusts...
Flee means to RUN AWAY. To run, leave, exit, escape, get out as fast as you can. Don't linger and try to discover how long you can test the temptation---Run as fast as your legs will take you!
You may be thinking: " Ok, I realize I am not to commit fornication, but this really means I am only to run if something immoral is soon to occur. Being in a vacant home with the opposite sex doesn't necessarily mean I will commit fornication!"
Please don't be naive if this is your position. The point is not to wait for immorality to transpire but instead to run to prevent the urge to sin from ever blossoming. Fleeing from fornication means escaping not just in the midst of temptation but also from any situation or place where immorality could occur (and alone in an empty house is a great possibility.) So if temptation is probable you better run as fast as you can!! God doesn't want you to test the fire before you run but rather to run before the fire begins. That is how we fight the battle--we prevent it from taking place.
Jam 1:14-15 ~ But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
Joseph is a great example of a man who fled from temptation. The story is that Joseph was working as a slave for Potiphar, the captain of the guard over Egypt. The Bible tells us that Joseph was a very handsome man and that Potiphar's wife took notice.
Genesis 39:11 says that Joseph went into the house to do some business and that there was no one else there. This is when Mrs. Potipher made her move toward him and what did Joseph do? He ran!
Gen 39:12 ~ And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out.
Joseph could have tried to reason with her while trying to knock some sense in her head or he could have even given her a lecture on his religious beliefs---but no, he RAN. He fled and quickly left her presence. Not a word, not a reason, and he was gone! He had the perfect opportunity to succumb to her wishes. No soul was around and I'm sure Mrs. Potiphar was a beauty. But he understood that messing around with temptation is never wise and instead he picked up his feet and exited as quickly as he could--so much so that his garment ripped in the process!
The world is rapidly desensitizing us. We view these "innocent" scenes in clean films where couples enter and exit each other's homes, sit in a dark vehicles, softly kiss at the fireplace or have deep discussion on top of their bed. We easily dismiss it if nothing immoral happens but at the same time, if we are not on guard, we quickly accept the behavior while not realizing it's just what Hollywood wants us to do! They want us to not only accept it but to do it ourselves. It's a deceptive lie that essentially says, "see, these people did this without sinning and you can too!"
Perhaps we think that somehow we are superior and we can "handle" the temptation. This is foolishness and disobedience to God. God tells us to RUN and not to give into our flesh!! Matthew 26:41 says that the flesh is weak and indeed it is. If we think we can linger in the presence of temptation and resist it we are dead wrong! If David was a man after God's own heart and he fell to lust and adultery, who are we to think we can stand against sexual temptation?
1 Corinthians 10:12 ~ Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.
Instead of being brain-washed by Hollywood we must persistently renew our mind according to the Word of God. It's important we keep in mind that:
1) Our flesh is weak
Matt. 26:41 ~ Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
2) We are not to make any provision for our flesh
Rom. 13:14 ~ But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof.
3) And we are to flee from our fleshly lusts
2 Tim. 2:22 ~ Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
It couldn't be more clear.
This leads me to another topic along these lines. If we realize our flesh is weak, we are not to make any provision for our flesh, and we are to flee from lust: then how much physical affection/activity should be allowed between dating couples?
So many books and articles I have read have posed the same question many, many times before in these 5 words: "How far is too far??" It seems to be one question many couples are continually seeking answers. Essentially the question is rather: "How much affection can we permit physically without sinning?".
The answer is simply: NO LUST. This is God's uncomplicated response from His Word. No activity between unmarried couples should provoke any sinful lusts which cannot be righteously fulfilled. The answer is so simple yet so serious.
God's Word says that there is not to be even a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity among believers (Eph. 5:3 NIV). Wow, not even a hint?! This no doubt includes lust.
Eph 5:3 ~ But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.
We must realize that lust is sin. The Bible says when a man lusts after a woman he is committing adultery with her in his heart (Matthew 5:28). If any physical activity causes lust it simply should not be done.
This poses a question: should one kiss prior to marriage? Frankly, I would say that's up to the couple. Some can do so lightly and innocently without lust or temptation; most, however, can't. Kissing is not a sin but lust certainly is. It's passionate kisses that take us to the next step to compromise and once it starts it's hard to stop. It would be wise to never invite the temptation in the first place. I think Romans 13:14 is a strong warning that perhaps could be applied to kissing and can sum up the above as well:
Rom 13:14 ~ But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof.
Conclusion:
God values purity and calls us to be pure because He is (Lev. 19:2; 1 Pt. 1:16). While many increasingly ask "how FAR can I go?" we should as children of God should ask instead, "how PURE can I be?"
"How much can I save for my future mate?" Instead of "How much can I get away with?"
"How can I protect our purity and prevent us from sinning against God?" instead of "How much temptation can I handle?"
Because of this we should desire the greatest standard of purity possible. It's what God requires of us and it's so vital to our Christian walk. It doesn't matter how weird or strict the world thinks we are. We are accountable to HIM and no one else. Our purpose on earth is to glorify God and one way we do this is by striving to live pure lives as we become more and more like Jesus Christ. Don't ever believe the lies of the world that purity isn't important or we can fight temptation on our own. The world has no standards but we as Christians must for the greatest purpose of honoring and obeying our Savior. Doing what it takes to obey Him will always be worth it.
What are your thoughts on this? Any additional ones? If so I'd love to hear them.
