Valentines Day Challenge

Today is the celebration of love, chocolate, and romance. If you're like me and don't have a "significant other," then Valentines most likely means nothing to you. It's very easy to see deliveries of love letters and stunning bouquets to another's open arms and in return be submerged in feelings of loneliness and self-pity. Well, before you pull out the tissue box this supposedly romantic holiday, I have a special challenge for all you "singles". Instead of loathing the absence of a special guy/gal in your life, I'd encourage you to especially lay aside today to focus on God's love, which is the greatest gift we could ever been granted.

I was talking with a dear friend this week and during our conversation she directed me to God and His great love for me. I caught myself thinking as she spoke; "yeah, God's love; He loves everyone. I know. I've heard it a million times before..." I quickly stopped myself realizing how lightly I was viewing it. I was so ashamed! It is because of His love that I am complete. He not only is the God of love (Jn. 4:16) but He loves me personally even when I don't deserve an ounce of it. God's love is the only love that is so deep and so sure!

Man says "I love you." But God says "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." (1 Jn. 4:10 NIV)

...the love of the God who is spirit is no fitful, fluctuating thing, as the love of man is, nor is it mere impotent longing for things that may never be; it is, rather, a spontaneous determination of God's whole being in an attitude of benevolence and benefaction, an attitude freely chosen and firmly fixed. There are no inconstancies or vicissitudes in the love of the almighty God who is spirit. His love is 'strong as death...many waters cannot quench it' (Song, 8:6). Nothing can separate from it those whom it has once embraced (Rom. 8:35-39).

Man says: "I'll love you as long as I live." But God says: "I have loved thee with an everlasting love." (Jer. 31:3)

Man says: "I will always love you as long as we're together." But God says: "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril or sword?...For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature , shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Man says: "I'll love you as long as your lovable." God says: "But God, who is rich in mercy, for His great love wherewith He loved us, even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us up together with Christ (by grace ye are saved.) (Eph. 2:4-5)

God's love is an exercise of His goodness toward sinners. As such, it has the nature of grace and mercy. It is an outgoing of God in kindness which not merely is undeserved, but is actually contrary to desert; for the objects of God's love are rational creatures who have broken God's law, whose nature is corrupt in God's sight, and who merit only condemnation and final banishment from His presence. It is staggering that God should love sinners; yet it is true. God loves creatures who have become unlovely and (one would have thought) unloveable. There was nothing whatever in the objects of His love to call it forth; nothing in man could attract or prompt it. Love among men is awakened by something in the beloved, but the love of God is free, spontaneous, unevoked, uncaused. God loves men because He has chosen to love them... -Knowing God by J.I. Packer p. 112

God's love is the only the deep, abiding, definite, unchanging, personal, pure, everlasting love we could ever have the privilege of being the recipients of. This is reason to rejoice and take great fulfillment. Though God loves the whole world (Jh. 3:16) not everyone has accepted this great love. Only believers know the great depth and price of such a love---which cost God His life.

God's love to sinners was expressed by the gift of His Son to be their Savior. The measure of love is how much it gives, and the measure of the love of God is the gift of HIs only Son to be made man, and to die for sins, and so to become the one mediator who can bring us to God. No wonder Paul speaks of God's love as "great", and passing knowledge! (Eph. 2:4, 3:19.) Was there ever such costly munificence? -Knowing God by J.I Packer p. 114

There's so much on God's love to be dwelt and meditated on. My encouragement to you this Valentines Day, whether you have someone special in your life or not, is to do three things...

First, realize the gift you have been given. Because of His love and the death of Christ on the cross, you have been freed from the power of sin and have the blessed privilege to come boldly before the throne of grace. Your greatest debt has been taken care of and you now enjoy the greatest blessing of being God's child. It cost Him His blood. Realize what love it took to grant you such an honor.

Second, understand that you have what most people are still searching for. Even on this day while many couples express their love to one another, many are still empty and searching for unconditional fulfillment. This is only to be found in Christ. No man/woman could ever complete you and make you happy, no matter how great or wonderful they actually are. Cling to Christ who is the only one that can love you fully and satisfy the deep longings within your soul. Be grateful because so many don't know what it means to be truly loved.

And last, but not least, make it personal. God loves you. He loves you just the way you are there's nothing you could ever do to earn it or make it grow. He chose you and you are precious in His sight. Believe it; meditate on it; thank God for it!

If we take a different viewpoint on Valentines Day, it doesn't have to be a burden for those without a "special somebody." Perhaps the roses, chocolate and love letters will come in the future, but I urge you to don't let Valentines pass by when you already have a "lover of your soul." Dwell on the Lord's love today and take some special time to be with Him. With the kind of love He has granted, continues to give, and will always bestow, we have only reason to be completely satisfied.

How can true love be?

Where can unconditional devotion be met?

To end the search for true love's key,

That every human searches to get,

The one True God of heaven and earth,

Has shown us love like no being can,

His affection was proved from His birth,

As God was born a man,

Giving one's life is the ultimate gift,

How could a soul give more?

From Jesus' death sins from us lift,

It's slaves we are no more,

Jesus loves me; His love is true,

To Him my love is forever due.

-Brooke, sonnet written February 14th, 2008

A Love That Lasts

My family and I went to go see the movie Fireproof last week and what a fantastic movie it was. I am thrilled to see such godly stories and messages projected onto the movie screen! If you haven't seen it I'd highly encourage you to go see it soon! It was very well done, God-glorifying and the movie's message greatly touched me. I think the movie portrayed many ideas but the one and that spoke to me most was what true love is all about.

True love is a subject the Lord has been teaching me this year. I've known the fact that love is much more than what most boyfriends and girlfriends have for each other these days but I don't think I have understood what it truly indicates for awhile now.

I really got to thinking about the true meaning of love after I read a novel earlier this year by Karen Kingsbury. It's rare that I read fiction but I happened one day to spot it sitting in our bookcase and I had to finish it after reading the first few pages. The story was about a godly woman's husband caught up in an affair. Biblically, Katherine (the main character), had the right to leave her husband because of his adultery, but instead she was determined with God's help to restore their marriage because of the commitment she made to him many years ago at the altar. She realized the seriousness of the marriage covenant when she had promised to love her husband no matter what happened. She didn't have to seek restoration but she wanted to. It was a beautiful and powerful story of forgiveness, love and redemption. It demonstrated the kind of love the Lord would desire us to have to one another and it really left an impression on me.

It was so refreshing to see the same message in Fireproof. It greatly touched me because the concept of true love is so rare today. It is one thing many of us lack and I do believe if couples knew the price of it before they married many divorces could be avoided.

The world has a very shallow definition of love. Romantic love between a man and woman is the only form that most are acquainted with. We have been greatly deceived by this unrealistic interpretation through the movies, television and songs around us. But instead reality and common sense reveal that couples who love each other don't always feel ooey gooey about the other person! Sadly, most people don't know love any other way because the world's ideas is all they've ever known and experienced. And once those "lovey-dovey" feelings leave, they automatically assume that love must not be there anymore.

Many of us commonly use the word "love" flippantly these days. We hear dating couples repeatibly throw the words "I love you" around without seriousness or commitment. "I'm in love" and "we've fallen in love" are popular declarations. Everyone frequently and casually uses the word in exclaiming such things as, "I love going to the beach," or "I just love pizza!" Perhaps this is the same attitude we have many times in how we treat other people. Why do we "love" pizza? Because it satisfies our cravings. In the same way we usually love others only because that persons pleases us, makes us happy, and benefits us in some way. Do we really have any idea of the actual meaning and price of this four letter word?

Let it be known that the world has no idea what love really is. They absolutely have not a clue. Because it is equated frequently with romantic feelings it's no wonder marriages one by one are breaking apart at rapid speed. Marriages cannot be built upon feelings and fairy-tale butterflies. If they are they will not survive through the storms. And difficulties will come. No marriage is promised romantic bliss throughout the entire covenant.

This is what real love is:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
—I Corinthians 13:4-8a (NIV)

The Word of God is the only way we can identify true love and 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a is the ultimate test. I think we as Christians have read this verse so many times that we've lost the meaning of it. But these are the characteristics of what real, genuine love actually looks like. These qualities are clearly portrayed in God and in our Lord. I really like what John Coblentz said:

"Contrary to popular thought, one does not "fall in" love. One can easily enough fall head over heels into lovely-dovey feelings. One can fall into sexual sin. But the love that holds marriages together through years of good and bad times is cultivated through wise choices and faithfulness to one's commitments. God not only tells us what love is like, but He also has shown the meaning of love by the way He relates to us. He is committed to our good even through great personal sacrifice. He is faithful. He is patient and kind. He shows us respect even when we do not deserve it. He stays true to His standards and true to His commitments to us even we fail Him. God's own example defines love for us and shows us how we are love in the covenant relationship of marriage."

God is the ultimate example of sincere love! The Bible tells us that He IS love! (1 Jh 4:7) The way that God shows love towards you and I is how He wants us to love other people.

Biblical love is:

-The act of one person seeking the good of another
-Unselfish concern for another's welfare
-Sacrificing for the good of another
-Selfless giving without anything in return

It is:

-Patient
-Kind
-Does not envy
-Does not boast
-Not proud
-Not rude
-Not self-seeking
-Not easily angered
-Keeps no records of wrongs
-Does not delight in evil but in truth
-Always protects
-Always trusts
-Always hopes
-Always preserves
-It never fails

God has shown and continues to show all of this to us even though we don't deserve any it. That is TRUE love!

Knowing what true love is I would now like to briefly dispel the world's lies by examining what true love is NOT.

True love is not selfish. It is almost impossible to genuinely love someone when you are self-centered. True devotion will always lead to action for what's best for the other person and you can't do that if you are being selfish. At the beginning of the movie Fireproof, Caleb and and his wife were very self-centered people and that's a great reason why they were having so many problems. True love is not selfish.

Premarital sex is not true love! Our culture teaches that love and sex should go hand in hand but this is a deceptive lie. Sex is only allowed by God within the covenant of marriage. Outside of marriage it is not only a sin but it is purely selfish. It breaks my heart to hear of couples committing fornication in the name of "because we love each other!" It's far from true care and devotion. Premartial sex is not patient, it is not kind, it does not protect and it is selfish. It is not love!

True love is not a feeling. It is very grievous because love today is considered primarily an emotion. "I love you because I feel love towards you and when I no longer feel that I don't love you anymore." It's a weak foundation which doesn't endure. Do you think Jesus felt like dying on the cross for us? No, He loved us so much that he chose to do so. Although real love can be and is often accompanied by strong feelings, love cannot be based exclusively on how we feel. It is not entirely an emotion; No, it's not void of feeling but it is not lead by it either. Rather it is an action or a deliberate choice. You choose whether you want to love or not show love to someone. Jesus CHOSE to die in our place. When couples say, "I don't love him/her anymore. We fell out of love with one another..." in reality they made that choice to stop loving and it was most likely never really love in the first place.

The feelings obvious weren't involved when Caleb first starting showing kindness to his wife in Fireproof. She was cold, unresponsive and showed no feelings of affection back towards his caring gestures. But he didn't give up and instead continued showing her unselfish love even when she didn't deserve it. That's what Biblical love really boils down to: it is loving the person even when they don't deserve it. It means giving without anything in return.

This is exactly what Christ did for us. Do we deserve his gift of salvation? Of course not! Did Jesus deserve to die? Absolutely not! But Jesus truly loved us and suffered so we could be reconciled with God. Jesus didn't need the cross but we did and because of that He died for us. That is Biblical love. I don't think I'll or anyone else will ever truly understand the cost and debt of that kind of love.

In a marriage or any relationship there will be bumps in the road but it is the choices that get you through not the feelings. This is the foundation that solid marriages and relationships are built upon. It's not easy but it is much more sacred and long lasting that romantic feelings will ever be. It is the kind of love that God has portrayed and continues to give us and that we need to share with other people.

Is it hard? Yes, it is. It certainly doesn't come naturally. The Bible tells us to love our enemies! Do you think that's a part of our nature to do so? Certainly not. And if we were to wait until we "felt" like loving the people we don't really care for do you think it would ever happen? But since we are children of God, loving others (whether that'll be our spouse, future spouse, family, friends, strangers or enemies) is what God has called us to do. We are to love as He loved. Aren't you so thankful for that kind of love that God faithfully shows toward us? I sure am!

Conclusion:

Let me end by sharing a quote by Harriett Sun:

Only after experiencing and knowing the unconditional love that God has for us, the love that drove God to send his Son to die for us on earth, can we begin to love others with the same quality of unconditional love.

We can only genuinely love by God's example and with His help. It is my prayer that as we experience the love God continues to give to us that we will desire to give it out to others. It is the only kind of love that lasts and survives through the highs and the lows. May we be persistent to choose to love others as God is so faithful to do to us.

• Extra note:

Test your relationships and take the "Is it really love?" test:

Ask yourself these questions:

▪ Are you patient with each other?
▪ Are you kind to each other?
▪ Are you never envious of each other?
▪ Do you never boast about yourself?
▪ Is your relationship characterized by humility?
▪ Are you never rude to each other?
▪ Are you not self-seeking?
▪ Are you not easily angered with each other?
▪ Do you keep no record of wrongs?
▪ Are you truthful with each other?
▪ Do you protect each other?
▪ Do you trust each other?

A Whole Heart For God

One day at camp last month, I laid in my bunk-bed in the middle of the night wide awake. Light from the hall-way trickled into the bedroom through a half-shut door and it was keeping me up, so I got up to shut it when I heard sobbing in the girl's bathroom. I gently opened the curtain to see a friend from my room sitting on the bathroom floor with a roll of tissue in her hand and a pile of used ones next to her. I sat down beside her and there we talked for a very long time...

This particular girl had told me earlier in the week that she had been going through some really tough times in her life, starting last year. She's still struggling with many hard things, but she told me that the trails she has been through so far has only made her stronger.

I listened to her and tried all I could to comfort her. Our conversation led to what God had been teaching in our lives and then about God Himself and what a great God we serve.

Something I will never forget is what this girl told me. She told me that she didn't want to be the "average Christian," and that she had fully surrendured her life to God and would live for Him no matter what. She said that before camp she had made God a promise and commitment that she was willing to do whatever it took to give Him the glory, even if that meant suffering for Him. She told me that even if she had to be crushed by other people, forsaken, abused, put down, no matter what, she would do whatever it took to make the Lord famous. She would do it for Him so He could be exalted.

This girl has a fire burning for the Lord within her that is not hidden. She inspired me so much and only made my fire within me burn the brighter for the Lord! What a blessing to meet a young lady who wants to live for God without reservations!

Making the Lord famous, is what she kept telling me was her purpose, her promise, her goal for the Lord.

A song by Rush of Fools reminds me of this girl's ambition. It is entitled "Fame." The chorus says:

I raise my hands

Just as I am

I'm letting go

Of false control

I lift my voice

I have no choice

My life is yours

Use me for your fame

I'm letting go; My life is Yours; Use me for your fame. God is so perfect and holy. Full of love for His people. He deserves all of us. Not half. Everything.

One of the main messages at camp was having a full heart for God. Not an empty or half-hearted one, but one without set backs. God wants all of us! He doesn't want us to be cold or warm in our Christian faith: He wants us to be on fire! Lukewarmness is not an option. Remember the verse in Revelation?

"I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I
would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art
lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of
my mouth."
Revelation 3:15-16

This girl from camp really inspired me. I have heard about young people on fire for the Lord, but I've never met one like this particular girl. Especially one like her who was willing to suffer for God who had a desire to do whatever it took to give glory to HIM.

It makes me look at my own life: how much have I given and am giving to the Lord? Would I be willing to suffer for Him?

The Bible is clear that if we are His child, we will suffer for Him. There's no hiding that fact.

2 Timothy 3:12

Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.

Philippians 1:29

For unto it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake.

But shouldn't this be a privilege? Look what He did for us!

The conversation I had with this particular girl sitting on the bathroom floor for an hour or so started with tears and ended with smiles and laughter. Talking with her about her commitment to the Lord and about God Himself, and how good He is, really blessed my heart and hers as well. Living for God is her greatest joy. Oh, if only every Christian, including myself, had such a deep desire to live for God with their whole hearts and without holding anything back!

I strongly encourage you to look at your own life as I look at mine. Would you still be faithful to God through suffering or persecution? Is there anything you are holding back from God? We're not truly living for God until we give Him everything. We were made for Him and Christ has given His life for us---what excuse do we have? We not only should surrender all but we should desire to do it because of what He has done for us! God deserves every ounce of us. Strive to give Him your full heart. Life is not about us. It's about HIM.

Desire to live for God without reservations.