The Beauty of the Unmarried Years

Singleness..it's a period everyone must go through. Some think it's dreadful. Others embrace it for selfish pursuits. Whatever the perspective, the way we use it is crucial because it will determine whether the ride is smooth, bumpy, profitable, or wasteful. We must evaluate ourselves and ask: how are we spending it?

Singleness can truly be a lovely time of one's life. Contrary to the world's opinion that you should always have a guy on your arm or that being single is a curse, the unmarried years can be full of wonderful opportunities. This is not the time to waste it on frivolous things or wait idly for Prince Charming. There's so many things to accomplish!

As an unmarried young lady, I hope you see what an incredible chance you have to focus all your time and energies on valuable things---pursuits that will strengthen you as a Christian and prepare you for life ahead. This time of singleness is the prime period to grow, mature, learn and serve. It is also the incredible season to seek the Lord with your whole heart. We must use them wisely.

I don't think many young ladies realize the value of their youth and their years before marriage. For a majority of singles it is primarily a time for pursing relationships with guys, having fun, hanging out with friends, and trying to fit in. Of course, there's nothing wrong with enjoying life or friendships, but when we make this our focus and we spend a majority of our time doing so, we are wasting this season on things that are not most important.

I am extremely grateful for the way my parents have helped me invest my growing up years. Yes, they were overflowing with enjoyable events, wonderful friendships and precious memories, but it was not the whole. It was also full of many lessons, maturing in many ways, learning important skills and more.

My parents did not allow me to date as I was growing up. Because I was homeschooled and also had my own convictions, this wasn't really a problem or a struggle, but I didn't realize at the time what a blessing this actually was! Because I wasn't tangled into boys or dating relationships, I was free to focus on beneficial things. Instead my priorities were on my spiritual growth and deepening my walk with the the Lord, maturing as a young lady, developing character traits, making friendships of all ages, learning new skills, and developing necessary responsibilities required for life and adulthood. I greatly recognize what a privilege it has been to use my growing up years in this way. While they haven't been perfect, I am thankful for the wisdom of my parents to steer me in a good direction. If I had done the opposite I would have missed so many opportunities and lessons.

I share this with you because I want to let you know that you don't have to spend your teenage or single years as our society encourages us . These years before marriage are some of the most valuable ones you'll ever have. We must make the most of them.

1 Corinthians 11:13
There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

So, no matter what your age, what are some practical things we should be doing right now?


1) Mature/Emerse yourself in your walk with Christ

This is by far the best thing you could ever do with your years before marriage. Use this time to learn to love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. Because the potential for serving the Lord and doing much for the kingdom of God are great and endless, you should embrace this opportunity. There will never be a time like this again for you to put all your focus on God and His work. Emerse yourself in God's presence, His Word, and ministry for Him. Give Him your undivided heart. This is the time to really fall in love with Him and to develop your relationship with Him in a very special way.

2) Prepare for a future husband

Your single years are the time to be preparing for marriage (if it's God's plan for your life). I have read countless number of testimonies from women who said they wish they prepared for the role of wife, mother, and homemaker. Take advantage of this time by developing essential homemaking skills that you will need not only in marriage but in life itself which include: cooking, cleaning, organizing, laundry, sewing, etc. Too many teens are unskilled in these areas that they don't know where to begin once they're married or out on their own!

What about the qualities you'll need as a mother such as training, discipling, loving and raising children? You can begin practicing these.

It's also important to understand your future role of being a helper to your husband, as this is one reason God created you if you marry (Gen. 2:18). Learn to be submissive to your parents and to serve those around you. Most of all I would say the best practice to being a wife is building character which leads to the next point....


3) Grow in character

Whether you marry or not, growing in character is one of the most important things you can do during your period of singleness. Apart of God's plan for you as a Christian is to grow more like Jesus Christ (2 Cor. 3:18). God desires you to bear fruit and grow more and more into His Son's image. Doing this is one of the ways we glorify God while we are on earth.

Growing in character is also essential for a future Christ-honoring marriage. Who you are right now is who you'll be when you're married. Are you preparing to be a godly wife? Are you striving to develop important character qualities that are critical for life and marriage such as:

-Humility (Jam. 4:6)
-A meek and quiet spirit (1 Pet. 3:4)
-A submissive spirit (Eph. 5:22)
-Patience (Jam. 5:8)
-Thankfulness (1 Thess. 5:18)
-Trustworthiness (Prov. 31:11)
-Faithfulness (1 Tim. 3:11; Prov. 31:11)
-Forgiveness (Matt. 6:14)
-Selflessness (Luke 6:38)
-A servant's heart (Matt. 23:11; Matt. 25:40)
-A non-complaining spirit (Prov. 25:24)
-And many more?

This is the time to begin bearing fruit and becoming more like Christ. Don't wait!


4) Learn to be content

Contentment is one of the most beautiful parts of a fulfilling Christian life. Paul says that godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6). No matter where life leads you--to the marriage altar, to the mission field, or a whole life of singleness--learning to be content will only forever benefit you and bring glory to God. Christ tells us to be content (1 Tim. 6:8; Heb. 13:5) so it is no question whether we should strive for it or not. But learning to do so now, while you are yet maturing or still unmarried, is the greatest season to do so. Strive to be grateful for all you have and not to complain. It can be difficult but if you're practicing now you will be more prepared for whatever God has for you ahead.


5) Learn to serve others

Part of the process of becoming like Christ is learning to serve others as He did. It certainly doesn't come naturally but it must be practiced. Before you are married you have the best opportunity to put all your energies into freely serving others. It's also a great time to learn and practice putting others before yourself including your family, roommates, friends, co-workers, people in your church, or anyone He brings your way. Unlike the culture's ideal that you are selfish, self-centered, and looking out for only yourself----use it to impact Christ's kingdom! Serve the Lord by serving others and practicing humility. It will be a huge blessing to your life whether you marry one day or not. Don't forget that God calls servants the greatest (Matt. 23:11) and whomever you serve you are ultimately serving Jesus Christ Himself (Matt. 25:40).

~*~

Now that I have shared five fundamental examples of ways you can be investing your unmarried years, my question is: how are you doing? I am also asking myself as I occasionally lose focus and can always make improvements. Are you learning to love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength? Are you preparing to possibly be a godly wife to a man one day? Are you developing essential character qualities, spiritual disciplines, and homemaking skills? Are you striving to learn to be content and serve those around you? With all of this and more there is so much potential!

As we purpose to make investments in things that are truly meaningful, we will continue to bear and reap many blessings. And once we have a ring on our finger, hopefully we will be able to look back on our unmarried years not in regret but joy. There's so many ways to be serving God now and reaching out to other people. Lets use this time of singleness with wisdom and get busy for the glory of God!

Modesty is Part of Your Ministry

While modesty is not popular (or favored) today, there are many reasons ladies of God must cover up. Several obvious ones would be that we are commanded by God in Scripture (1 Tim. 2:9), we don't want to encourage adultery in fellow males (Matt. 5:28), we have to be different from the world (Rom. 12:2), and so forth. Yet there's a much more pressing reason why modesty is so serious.

While reading Amy Carmichael's biography, one story in her ministry spoke volumes to me. While Amy was on her first venture to witness to the people of Japan, she was offered to wear a kimono instead of her English style of dress but she declined because of comfort reasons. When she arrived to an elderly lady's home and began to tell her of Jesus and what He had done for her, the woman listened intently and Amy said that she was ever close to receiving Christ as her Savior. Then all of the sudden the lady took notice of Amy's English fur gloves...something the native had never seen before. As the lady started touching them and asking questions, Amy knew at that moment she had lost her. She determined to never wear her English attire while doing mission work again.

This story stood out to me because it reminded me of the power of distraction, because in the same way, immodesty is a distraction and we lose the power of the gospel when we dress in a revealing way. When we emphasize or display our feminine assets, we put people's eyes, thoughts, and attention on ourself instead of Christ. How can a man think on eternal things when we are distracting him with our body parts? And how can we let our lights shine for the glory of God when we are drawing all eyes to our skin and our sense of style?

If we get to the root of immodesty, we would simply find that it is purely selfish. It's wearing what I want to wear; it's getting everyone to notice me; it's making me feel good; it's broadcasting my good looks; it's getting what I desire (i.e. attention or a man)...These are not to be the intentions of a woman of God. You have been saved by the blood of Christ and are to now to glorify God with your body (1 Cor. 6:20). How can this be done in provocative clothing?

It grieves me because too many precious girls who proclaim to love God are not obeying His commandments (John 14:15). They want to do great things for the Lord but don't realize that they must begin with obediently doing as He says. If you truly desire to minister to others for the glory of Christ, may I suggest starting with modesty? It truly is a ministry. Every time you deny to wear that "cute" yet revealing blouse, you are helping your brothers not to stumble into sin and are therefore aiding their walk with God. Every time you cover up and dress in a feminine style, you are honoring your Creator by delighting in the way He made you and are being an example. And every time you decide to not to dress like the world in their skimpy trends, you are being a light for Christ and are therefore giving Him the glory (Mat. 5:16).

Whether we are verbally spreading the gospel or not, we represent the Lord and are walking examples of the gospel on a daily basis. Your clothes send a message. Let me ask you, dear sisters-in-Christ, is that message one that tributes to the gospel or your selfish desires? Is it one that points to Christ or to yourself? While you should delight in being a female, God did not create you to display your feminine secrets to all passers-by. We are not to be a looking glass to our own charms but rather a reflection of what Christ has done. When you cover up with a desire to please your Lord, you are showing a dark world the change God has so graciously worked in your heart (2 Cor. 5:17).

Our life should be a ministry, and as we share the gospel with all creatures (Mark 16:15) modesty must be apart of that ministry. As we choose to cover up, we will be a greater testimony for a hurting world and will honor our Lord as we seek to prevent distracting others from the gospel.

When we choose our clothes for the day, may we dress in such a way that when people see us they see not ourself, but the One who saved our soul and is changing us to become more and more like Him (2 Cor. 3:18).

Children are Treasures

A couple in our homeschool group has given birth to beautiful twins and I recently went to see them. It was such a privilege to be able to hold and cuddle the precious bundles. I love babies so much!

One was lying in her crib and while we peered over to admire her, I asked the father what it was like having twins. I expected an answer such as "it's great but alot of work," or "we love it but they keep us busy," but his answer surprised and touched me all at the same time. He smiled and kindly and sincerely responded, "They're a blessing. We'd love to have a dozen more."

Wow.

This couple already has four children but would delight to add more little hands and voices to their family. They realize what's truly valuable. We really need more men (and women!) like this who view babies as blessings, not burdens.

My family loves the show on TLC called 18 Kids and Counting. It's a documentary of a christian homeschooling family with 18 children. What stands out to me about this show are the two facts that children are blessings and God provides. I can't imagine the expenses for a household of 20, but God is faithful to provide for them.

When God says children are blessings, He means it! (Ps. 127:3) This is heartbreaking in a society that views children as strains. So many refuse this "gift" from the Lord that He so kindly wants to give us.

Some couples would like more but just don't see it possible financially. To this I ask-- do we really believe God's Word? If God says children are blessings do you think He means it and will provide? Absolutely! The Duggard family is proof of this. They have 18 children yet they are living debt free. As this couple has chosen to joyfully accept as many blessings as the Lord sees fit, He has and continues to faithfully take care of them.

Children are apart of God's grace to us. If anyone should be having children it's Christians. We have a HUGE privilege to raise children in the fear and love of the TRUE God. The Bible tells us that children are like arrows to accomplish this (Ps. 127:4) and happy is the man who has many (Ps. 127:5).

If God tells us children are gifts, He will provide to take care of those blessings, and we must believe it. Praise God for the gift of children, and praise God for the honor to raise them to know and live for Him.

When We Realize We Need the Savior

Most Americans have heard of Jesus Christ. Most know that He died on a cross. But sadly many don't truly understand why. This is tragic in a world who is in need of a Savior.

We have to understand that no one desires a cure until they know their disease. Until people understand that they have sinned against God, broken His commandments, fallen short of His standard, and that there's absolutely nothing they can do to earn salvation for themselves, they will have no desire for Christ's gift of eternal life.

This is what the law is for. The Bible tells us that the law is our schoolmaster to bring us to Christ (Gal. 3:24) and that by the law is the knowledge of sin (Rom. 3:20). Paul said that he didn't know he was a sinner before the law (Rom. 7:7). It is perfect, converting the soul (Ps. 19:7). This is one reason we simply should not remove it from our way of witnessing.

Today's popular methods of evangelism are shallow and unconvincing. "Jesus loves you," "God has a wonderful plan for your life" or "come discover the joy and peace that Jesus has given me!" are very true and great statements, but when bringing someone to Christ, they only invite confusion. Why do so many turn away from the faith when hard times come? Why do so many cling to God's love but believe Christ accepts their sin too? If you give the wrong reason to accept Christ, that person will have the wrong motive for coming and therefore the wrong expectations.

Yes, Jesus is loving and forgiving and this cannot be acknowledge enough, but this must not be separated from His righteousness and holiness. God hates sin and it will not go unpunished. Too many have the idea that since God is forgiving that he will pardon their sinful lifestyle once they stand before Him on judgment day. Let me refute this with a modern day example: If a thief or murderer asked a judge to forgive him, that judge would be an unjust one if he let him off the hook. Justice simply cannot be overlooked, and God doesn't overlook it either.

But put yourself in the courtroom example and imagine that someone walked in and said they would pay your fine because they loved you. This is exactly what Christ did.

When you go through the Ten Commandments and realize that you have lied, stolen, taken God's name in vain...That you've fallen so short of God's high standards that if you've lusted, you've committed adultery in heart (Mat. 5:28), and if you have hated you've murdered in heart (Matt.5:21-22)....you cannot stop the guilt. You and I have broken every commandment...and I only mentioned half of them. We have fallen so short that God says that if you have broken one of them, you are guilty of breaking all (Jam. 2:10), just like a chain is broken if one link is missing.

But when you come to that point of acknowledging how much you've actually sinned against God and broken His holy standards, this is when Christ's sacrifice finally comes to life. It's always my favorite part in witnessing to finally ask, "____, do you know what Christ did for you?" I usually receive a light-bulb moment look that replies "Christ died for me; for my sins." Many know this fact, but after going through the law it finally makes sense why. Christ died to make a way to heaven for me because I'm destined for hell and there's nothing I can do on my own to change that.

The Good News is simply not good news until you know why you need it. And until people realize they need a Savior because they are totally helpless sinners, they will not desire the cure that Jesus so lovingly offers them. We must, we must, be sharing the gospel according to the Scriptures by convicting from the law.

While some in foreign lands have never heard of Christ, those that have heard here in America need to know the truth just as desperately. We have a mission, we know the cure, what will you do about it?

The Joy of the Lord is My Strength

Last week I enjoyed for the first time the role of being a camp counselor and I loved it. I know it was only successful because of God's power and the prayers of many family and friends back home.

The well known, Philippians 4:13, became so real to me last week. I did many things I could not have normally done and I was placed outside my comfort zone many times, but because God was my strength I was able to accomplish much for Him.

I loved everything about being a counselor: directing, counseling, and discipling five sweet girls, making awesome friends, meeting with other counselors for prayer 6:30 in the morning, meeting and getting to know many campers, learning about God and His Word, participating in fun camp activities, helping campers memorize Scripture, eating the delicious camp food! etc. etc.

But the most joyous part of my week was leading four campers to Christ. Of course it wasn't I who did it; God just happened to use me and put me at the right place at just the right time. And they were so ready. Through the sermons and nights of devotions, their hearts had been softened to the gospel and they were ready to give Christ their life. I listened to them pray and they sincerely asked Christ to be their Savior. It was such an exciting time!! I never helped lead anyone to Christ before so I couldn't help to be moved. I was so thankful for God's working in these girl's lives and the others who surrendered their lives to God.

God did so much last week and answered so much prayer. He not only worked in the camper's hearts but mine as well. I give Him praise for that.

Philippians 4:13 is almost a cliche' among believers, but I want to encourage you to really think about and believe in its meaning. Without God you can do nothing (John 15:5), but with Him you can do anything (Phil. 4:13). You can do all things with Christ if He is your source of strength (Ps. 27:1). And when He is, it's endless of what you can accomplish.

Women Are Like Roses

Did you ever ponder how much a woman is like a rose? There are so many similarities we ladies can learn from this lovely flower.

A lady like a rose...

Should not be picked prematurely.

A man must not attempt to claim her until he is ready and prepared to keep, provide, nurture, lead and water her like a good gardener for the rest of his life. Until he can commit to her completely, he should not ask her to be his. Timing is crucial before such love should begin to bud.

Likewise, the lady should not desire or try to be picked until the time is right. She must mature and grow first. She must use her youth to deepen her roots in the soil of God's Word and to drink the Savior's water for her fulfillment (Jhn. 4:10). Too many girls have missed such an ample opportunity of growth by being picked as only tiny sprouts.

Should not be opened too early.
Whatever stage of her development, a lady should never open her heart to a man except to the one she knows will be her husband. Her hearts is a special abode for only one and to open these blossoms to the wrong man or at the wrong time is losing a precious gift which belongs to one man alone.

Should never be drunk from until the night of her wedding.
To allow a man to drink her nectar who is not her husband is not only a defilment to her roots but is also a sin against her Maker (1 Cor. 6:18). Immorality will cost her her beauty and her fellowship with her God. It will also cost her the most beautiful treasure she owns for her future husband, the one gift she gives away only once to only one person.

As a rose, women are delicate beings, easily torn and easily shattered. Too many have opened their petals at the wrong time and have allowed men to pluck them as they please. They blossom and give everything without matrimony and allow men to drink them dry. Many are being trampled on and left with their beauty, gracefulness, and purity vanished.

Don't give up hope. God is gracious and can restore those whose petals have been torn and plucked to a greater beauty than they could ever know. You'll be blessed and restored when you run to your Maker, who can water you anew again.

No matter where you are, hold on to your treasure. A woman will be blessed when out of obedience to her Maker remains closed for one man and her nectar for only one pair of lips. What a gift it will be to one privileged soul when he picks, opens, and drinks from her at God's appointed timing. What a bond of love shall be between those that choose to wait.

Like a rose, we must grow and find our fulfillment in Christ alone, and if He so desires he will bring a man to claim us one day. Until then, our petals should remain closed for only one.

....The Seas and All That is Therein...

The air is fresh; the breeze is rejuvenating. The rays of the sun gently touch my skin as the yellow ball of light rises over the horizon. The water is buoyant and feels refreshing on my legs and feet. There's not a soul in sight as I continue to walk and leave fresh footprints in the sand. I take it all in and all the beauty around me. This is one of my favorite places to be.

There's nothing like the ocean. Something about the water is so deep, so mysterious. As I stand in front of the massive sea I am in awe of God's power and how small I actually am. God created this vast body of water and life and they all belong to Him.

I love every part about the beach: long walks in the early morning, the soft sand between my toes, spending time with family, jogging along the shore, reading on the porch, watching dolphins, soaking up the sun, finding shells with the kids, feeding the seagulls, taking a swim....it all is grand.














Nehemiah 9:6~
Thou even though art Lord alone. Thou has made heaven, the heavens of heavens with all their host; the earth, and all the things that are therein, the seas, and all that is therein, and thou perservest them all, and the host of heaven worshippeth thee.

Longing For Love

While recently spending the day at an amusement park, one thing I couldn't help but notice was how many girls I saw---many who were quite young---hidden in guy's arms. A few faces revealed a look of emptiness and others just plain indifference, but I'm sure each were seeking after the same thing: emotional security and ultimately...love. My heart went out to them.

When I see these young girls I can't help but wonder about their individual world's and their home lives. Do they come from broken families? Are they devoid of love where they live? Are their parents there for them? While this can be related to the choices they make and who they become, despite one's background the truth is that if a girl doesn't have the Lord, guys are one of the only things she can turn to.

I know how they feel. All they want is someone to love and cherish them. As I looked into dark, makeup covered eyes with masculine arms around her waist and showers of kisses upon her neck, I saw the pain and the desire for security. My heart grieved for her because she hasn't found it yet. If you don't know the Lord, where else do you go?

As she places herself in his embraces and lets his hands touch her, she thinks it's love, but the man's actions portray an entirely different message. He loves every minute of easy pleasure from someone who will freely give it. She's vulnerable and he knows it. For her this is the price she must pay for someone to desire and care for her, but how long will it last?

What has happened to respect? Why have girls let go of precious treasures? Where are all the gentlemen?

None of these issues can be solved until God is the center. Christ is the only answer to the emptiness of the soul. No guy could ever fulfill a lady's longings. No lady can find true emotional security and love until she has given her heart to the One who loves her most.

A man and woman who love the Lord can display true love because they have been given it, and until the gospel has been shared, emptiness will have no remedy. It's just another reason the Good News must be spread.

Excerpt From My Journal

As I pack away my Bright Lights material tonight, my heart overflows with joy and gratitude of all that God has done. I can't help but smile. I did it...with Him. With God's help I started a group that I have always prayed about and now it is finished. I finally got to discipline young ladies and teach them the truths of God's Word! Oh Praise You Lord! I was so uncertain at first but God has blessed. Indeed God doesn't call us to do anything that He won't help us with. And oh, I could have never done this without His help. There's certain things that are totally out of my power, like the working and changing in the girl's lives. That's the Holy Spirit's job. And there's other things that I rely on Him for, such as the boldness and words to speak for each lesson. It's so easy, though, to occasionally assume I can do the little things---or at least something---without His help. Yet the Bible says, "without me, ye can do nothing."

There's been many times I have sat in front of my laptop ready to write but my mind remained terribly blank--the one thing I thought I was capable of accomplishing myself. I've had to call on the Lord many times for inspiration and He's showered me with ideas and thoughts that I would have never thought of. He's the one who has wrote the lessons, not I.


From what I've learned from leading Bright Lights, the thing that stands out the most would be learning to have a greater dependency on God. This has strengthened my faith and relationship with Him as I've had to seek Him many times to help me. How foolish I am to think I can handle things on my own. When I rely on myself all is fruitless. Leading this group has helped me to see how much I need Him for the big and small things.


Prayer. Oh, how important it is. This has become more real to me over the past few months. You see, prayer has not only been the preparation for the ministry; it is the ministry. A work done for God is only as powerful as it has been soaked with prayer. Every week of Bible study God has answered prayer, and in the process He has grown my faith in the true effectiveness of it.

God is so gracious for each girl He has sent my way and I am so thankful for the opportunity He gave me to be apart of their lives. I love them all so much and they are all so special in their own way. I do pray that the things that they learned will be used in their life and that God will continue to grow them to be strong and godly young ladies for the glory of Him. May I never forget the things He has taught me too, and I pray I will always choose to put my dependency and strength in Him in whatever I do.

Simple Exercise That Will Change Everything

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

I have been striving lately to apply 1 Thess. 5:18 to my life and in doing so I have found it does wonders.

My sister and I went to an amusement park with a group of friends and the most aggrivating thing occurred. I put my cell-phone in my pocket before the ride (like I have done a million times before) and when I hopped off the coaster I checked my pocket and my phone was not there. I was so upset. The absence of my cell-phone was not what essentially bothered me (since it can be replaced) but the fact that all my contacts, numbers, notes, and pictures were forever gone.

I couldn't get the senario out of my head when it first happened. My information was lost and my phone probably in a million pieces. How could I be cheerful and enjoy the park again? At that point I had a choice to make. Either I could dwell on my regrets and ruin my whole day, or I could be thankful.

Be thankful?? Yes, when I finally took the time to dwell on what I was thankful for in the situation I realized there were many things.

First, I was thankful that my cell-phone had fallen out of my pocket and not the money and credit card that resided in the opposite one. Between the two I would have definitely given up my cell, so I was very grateful for that.

Second, I was grateful I had some of my numbers written down so not all of them were completely gone.

Third, I was thankful I had a spare phone at home (even though it's not so great) which I could transfer my number immediately incase anyone called.

When I thought about it, I realized the situation wasn't as bad as it seemed. Dwelling on the good instead of the unfavorable changed my whole perspective around. I knew according to 1 Thessalonians 5:18 that God has a reason for what occurred and I was to give thanks anyway. Because I did, I was able to enjoy the rest of the day and have a blast with my friends even though I was cell-phone absent.

If only I could remember and apply this to all parts of my life! It makes me wonder that if I can't apply this to the small areas, how will I respond when trials come my way? Will I be able to give thanks (1 Thess. 5:18) or count it all joy (James 1:2)? I need to make the practice of giving thanks in the disappointing things a natural part of my life. I know it would be so much better if I do.


*Note: I recommend an excellent book that focuses on this verse: A Thankful Heart by Carole Lewis. It will change your life.

Is Submission Stupid?

We enjoyed our first women's fellowship at our church this past week. During this time our pastor's wife briefly mentioned the command in Scripture for wives to obey their husbands (Eph 5:22-23, Col. 3:18, Titus 2:5). One lady, a widow at our church, is something else. She's up there in years yet full of spunk and wit. She recently gave herself to the Lord and has much to learn about the Bible but is thankfully very open and curious to know what it says. This part just didn't make sense to her though.

"Obey your husband??" She asked, "I know the Bible says it but I just can't fathom. No, I just couldn't do that..." I told her that God gives us the strength to do what He commands and that He blesses us in return. She accepted the idea yet still said she couldn't have done it. "Well, I didn't know that when I was married," she commented, "now that I do I think I'll just stay single *laughs*".

Submission in the Bible is hard to comprehend to a world going in the opposite direction. Feminist just love to feel sorry for submissive wives and their "oppressive" lifestyle. All I know is that no matter how hard it is to understand, the Bible is the authoritative, infallible Word of God and is the Creator's instruction manuel for us to live a successful life. We will only be safe if we live by it and follow it whole-heartily.

At this stage of my life, I don't have to worry about obeying a husband (particularly because I don't have one), but I am still commanded by God to do the same to my father (Col. 3:20; Eph, 6:1-2). Let me tell you, I am so thankful to be under my father's authority. It is really a blessing to be protected and guided under his leadership.

Because of our rebellious and sinful hearts, it is easy to look at submission through culture's eyes as being legalistic and degrading, but I see it and from experience know that it is not as the world thinks it is. God guides, directs, protects, and blesses me when I respect and obey my father. God leads me through my Dad. I never feel as if I am in bondage or handcuffed from happiness. Quite contrary, obedience to God's ways are entirely liberating. Obeying the Lord and His commands has only resulted in freedom and blessings to my life, plus in return my father trusts me and it strengthens our relationship. Of course I'm not perfect (far from it), but when God helps me to submit to my parents I only gain what's best in the end.

Submission is one of those Biblical paradoxes that most find hard to understand. You see, the more I respect, honor, and obey my father, the more freedom I am granted. I'm not referring to the liberties my father grants (which is certainly part of it) but ultimately from God Himself.

A great deal of young ladies think that they too can earn freedom by parting from their father's headship. While it might seem like they are liberated, in truths they are not. When you exit the position God has given your father as head of the home, you leave God's protection and are left in a very vulnerable and dangerous position. You are no longer safe, no longer blessed, and living outside of God's will is always a very scary thought indeed!

The fact is that authority is simply something we can't run from. It is a element of life we will be subject to the rest of our days. Whether that position is parents, a husband, a boss, your pastor, government, and ultimately God Himself, authority is something we have to deal with, because if we don't life will be pretty miserable.

I'm not saying submission is easy, but in the midst of opinions and controversies, I just have to keep in mind that God's ways are not ours. I am under my father's head and one day I will be under the headship of a husband and I am perfectly fine with that. In fact, I am very grateful. Why you ask? Because my God deeply loves me and He knows what's best. I don't have to truly understand; My job is just to be to obedient. And I can find joy in that because I know when I obey my Dad I am essentially obeying God, and God is ultimately the one I desire to please.

A few shots of a wonderful, much needed vacation

Trying to make it look vintage (they struggled not to smile) ;)


Normal :)

Overflowing Treasures....Or Trash?

I have this problem and perhaps you can sympathize with me. I'm a very organized person which is great. My complication? I have a hard time getting rid of things. In other words I keep just about everything that means something to me or I think can be useful sometime in the future. I think this can be good concerning some stuff but overall is this a good or bad thing??

Holly has called me a pack rat for awhile now. Looking around my room and seeing everything organized and in order, I always thought it wildly unreasonably that I would be so....until I did some deep cleaning. All I have to say is: oh brother!

I have hung on to almost everything that holds any sentimental value to me. They are the most difficult for me to let go, so therefore I usually don't. It drives me crazy but at the same time it would kill me to give it up or throw it away. I couldn't believe some of the things I discovered packed away in boxes and such, some stuff I've had and hadn't seen in ages. It's like this raging battle taking place inside of me. I don't need it but I just can't trash it!

I'm doing a little better and the last cleaning excursion of my room was profitable as I finally begun letting things go. But the bad things is that I have discovered this struggle recently appearing in other things, such as my text message inbox and my e-mail. They constantly remain full because there's too many messages/e-mails I wouldn't consider deleting. AHHHHHH!

This really is a struggle. The problem is that I don't see any solution but letting go of some things. I feel like just throwing up my hands over this. Am I a hopeless case?

Flowers Are a Beautiful Touch

What do you do with your wilting flowers? 

Throw them out the window? Toss them in the trash? Well, instead of getting rid of them I'd encourage you to preserve them.

Drying flowers is a very easy way to conserve old blossoms and to decorate your home frugally. Mom let me have the remainders of her Mother Day's roses and I tried this for the first time and it worked out very nicely. 

There's three different methods for drying plants but I prefer the air-drying one the best. Even though this one takes the most time it's the easiest and doesn't cost you a thing. 

What you do is first strip you flowers of their leaves (if you prefer). Gather the stems together and tie them with a string or secure them with a rubber band. Then hang the bundle upside down in a well-ventilated area. A closet or garage is the best place for this. 

Let them dry for about a month then spray them with hair-spray to set and you're done!

I put them in a large jar because I love the country decoration/old fashion style they bring.    

Even though they're not the bright red roses they once were, they are still lovely and look great on my dresser.

My Aunt loves drying flowers. She has an assortment of plants in her back-yard and enjoys using them to decorate various rooms in her home.

This is on her dining room table. Isn't it lovely?

This one is my favorite! It's absolutely gorgeous with all the different varieties of flowers and colors.

So, next time before you throw out your flowers, won't you think about drying them instead?  Experiment on different kinds and see how it works. Drying is a wonderful thing you can do for unwanted plants. It recycles, it's easy to do, it's frugal, and it adds a beautiful touch to your home.  Give it a try  :)

Something I hope I Don't Forget

For some reason, April was a very dry writing period for me. Last month my blog was empty and my journal bare. When I occasionally had a subject I would sit with pen in hand and my mind would go blank. No inspiration whatsoever. Don't you hate intense periods of writer's block?? I'm not sure if it was that or if I was just too busy to think but it's funny because now I'm going through some kind of writing phase. My mind has been racing with thoughts, my pen running at furious speeds, and my journal filled with pages of cursive writing almost daily. Writer's block is way behind me. It's a great feeling since I love to write and hopefully this month my blog will have way more entires.

Before I conclude this post I must share a story with you.

Back in January, my Dad and I were driving out of our driveway when I noticed something brown escape into a ditch inside a tunnel. We stopped and I went out to check it out to find a timid puppy's face looking back at me. Finally after a long attempt of graceful puppy calls, the nervous thing finally came out. Amber and Autumn were on the scene now and he took to them quickly. I guess we just adopted him from there because he never left.

After a few months of keeping this pooch lets just say I discovered he wasn't my favorite dog. When a dog always tries to jump on you every time you exit the house, you're bound to be annoyed. Especially when he does manage to get mud on your Sunday clothes. With an occasional drooling face and bounds of hyper energy, you just never know when he'll attack by throwing up his paws or either licking you on the leg. Perhaps by now if you called "get!" he'd come running and think it was his name. This is one dog that will drive you crazy.

Well, last night I was driving home from a Bible study and my headlights revealed a dead dog close to our driveway. Brown and short, it was our adopted pet. It must have been chasing a car and finally met it's doom. It lie there lifeless, all alone, gone forever. I almost cried. Yes, he was annoying but deep down I'm sure he was just looking for love and I never gave it to him. I felt pretty bad and decided I'd better give special attention to the dogs that were left. Walking up the driveway I called for our beloved dog Sugar when out of no where the crazy, brown mutt appeared. What? I thought you were dead! I was pretty surprised to say the least. He furiously wagged his tail and looked at me with his big eyes and obnoxious grin. I honestly wasn't sure what to think but I decided to do something I never did.........I petted him. The first time he tried to lick my hand but after taking interest in a nearby crawling bug, he let me pat his head. He was soft and he didn't seem to notice. I slipped inside the house and pondered what had just happened.

All I could conclude was the simple fact that we don't appreciate things until we don't have them. Isn't this true in all of life? We take so much for granted and when they're gone from our reach is when we finally realize how much we actually needed, appreciated, loved it. The simple solution is gratitude.....gratitude for all we have. It makes me want to examine my life for everyday things I don't thank God for giving to me.

I don't know what my relationship will be with the pup from here on out. I'm sure he'll continue to attack and I will continue being irritated, but you know, I was reminded something valuable yesterday which I hope I don't forget. It's a life long lesson we all should keep close to heart. And because of that every now and then I'm gonna try to pet that crazy brown mutt...That is if he doesn't jump on me first :)

Latest Project: Quilting

Marriage Perspectives

As young ladies, what should be our perspective on marriage? Should I desire it? Should I prepare for it? Should I be waiting for a husband or put thoughts of marriage aside until later down the road?

It's not a surprising fact that a majority of women are getting married at older ages than ever before. Many women are postponing marriage as long as possible for career pursuits and opportunities to climb the corporate ladder. With the addition of casual hookups there's not a need for matrimony neither a desire for a husband or children. Marriage is just not esteemed or desired as it once was.

Of course God values marriage. He created the institution from the beginning with Adam and Eve. God said that it was not good for man to be alone and because of this the man should leave his father and mother to be one with his wife. Together the husband and wife are a powerful pact to serve God side by side to fulfill His work; They need each other and together can glorify God in wonderful ways.

Understanding this, how should I view and act toward the thought of marriage? As with everything, there's always two extremes. In this case, the feministic frame of mind would be the one side of the pendulum. Me tied down to a husband and children? You say, You've got to be kidding! My career comes first before I settled down. Besides, I'll be married the rest of my life, why not make something of myself? This is an unbiblical perspective and is frequently squabbled because we don't understand God's high calling of being a wife and mother.

You may not be a militant feminist, but the same frame of mind can occur in other ways. I believe it's possible to get so wrapped up in serving the Lord that one can conclude that a husband will only be a distraction in giving to their fullest. While God does call some to live a life of singleness, the majority will be married someday and in their case this position is wrong. It is true that unmarried ladies have a wonderful opportunity to serve God with all their being. 1 Corinthians 7:34 tells us this. We do not have our own family and therefore have much more time and energy to reach out to others. But we must realize that singleness may not last forever and a husband can be a great blessing in serving God. Marriage is a ministry and children can be raised to be warriors for the cause of Christ. We must understand that we do not determine whether we marry. God does.

The second extreme is putting marriage as our highest priority. It's marriage on the mind....all the time. Daydreaming, planning the wedding, fantasying married life, wondering about potential husbands...oh yeah, and great discontentment. Life will be so much happier when I am finally a wife you speculate. Of course this second state of mind is just unhealthy as the first. Marriage is lovely but it's not our chief goal. Glorifying God is.

So what's the answer to this raging pendulum? The solution is balance. We don't want to postpone marriage nor make it our idol. The key is submitting to God's plan and waiting on His timing. If God wants you to serve Him until your 30 before you join your life to a man---then so be it. If He wants you to wed at 20 to start a family early---then so be it. It is not our place to make that decision.

In the meantime our responsibility is to not to impatiently wait or put marriage off as long as we can. We should prepare for marriage without idolizing it; We should be content with our singleness without concluding marriage a hindrance. While waiting on what God has for us, we should be serving Him with our whole hearts. If God sends a young man across our paths one day or if He chooses a life of singleness we will continue serving Him without fail. You see, whether we marry our not, our highest purpose is to serve our Creator. We must keep our focus on Christ while preparing to be a godly woman. That's how we keep balance and put marriage in its proper place. God should be glorified regardless the outcome because He is God and His ways are always best.

Busy but Buoyant

Reading and writing---these are two of my favorite things to do, yet I haven't had hardly any time to do either...until tonight :)

I am here in Savannah for my "nanny" job. This is my third trip down here to work for a family which I will continue working for every other week until May. I love it and I am so grateful for it. When Mrs. Lisa arrived home from work this afternoon I finally was granted the lavish opportunity to sit down and enjoy a good book. I went outside on the patio and enjoyed myself--a book in one hand and an apple in the other :) I am reading What He Must Be...If He Wants to Marry My Daughter, by Voddie Baucham and it is really insightful. The Biblical qualifications for a Christian to marry are "musts" but ones ladies seem to easily look over. I am grateful for works as these. I want to read A Man Worth Waiting For and A Lady In Waiting by Jackie Kendall next...

Life has been particularly hectic for me lately but I don't really mind. I like to be busy as long as I am not overwhelmed, which I haven't been a great deal.

I started a discipleship for girls titled Bright Lights (www.brightlights.info) three weeks ago. We meet at our home every other Friday and have had two meetings thus far. God placed this on my heart to start a group when I was fourteen and I have finally begun. I love it. I have 8 girls including my sister who come and I love each and every one of them. I pray this has been and will be a blessing to their life as much as it has been mine. I am so excited to see what God is going to do! I tell you, there's no greater joy than obeying and serving the Lord. There's a lot more to say and perhaps I will get the chance to do so at another time...

Guess what else has occurred? I don't know if you remember my desire to start quilting lessons, but a sweet friend from our church has graciously offered to teach my sister and I! She came to our house about two weeks ago and gave us an introduction to quilting and showed us the many patterns we could do. I'm so excited! We're going to pick out our fabrics this Saturday. This is an answer to prayer as I have desired to do this for so long. God answers prayer!!

Monday's Bible study is going well, even though I miss every other lesson because of my job. Bible Study Fellowship has been a tremendous help to my life! I don't have time to tell you about it but I'd highly encourage you to see if there's one in your area. BFS is an international Bible study and it's free too! Check out their site: (http://www.bsfinternational.org) and click "Find a class." I LOVE it so much and if there's one near you I'd greatly encourage you to be apart of it. It will really help you to grow in your relationship with the Lord and your knowledge of the Word. I am learning so much.

In between these things I've been scheduling to visit a college at least every other week. My mom, sister and I went to visit one on St. Patrick's Day but we weren't impressed so I crossed that one off my list. I know God will show me where He wants me to be. I shall keep praying :)

I must run. Thought I'd update while I have some time! One more thing---I am having a birthday this week. I am pretty excited that I will 19 years of age. Hard to believe but exciting none-the-less!

Thank you for reading and God bless you.

Wordless Wednesdays: Road Trip Pic

                       

I love sayings/quotes and thought I'd share some of my favorites which are all by anonymous authors. Some I think are profound, some simply make you think, and others are just amusing, but never-the-less I like them all. Enjoy  :)

To be content with little is difficult, to be content with much, impossible.

Humility is that grace, that, when you know you have it you have lost it.

Sympathy is never wasted except when you give it to yourself.

Fear God and all other fears will disappear.

Do you see difficulites in every opportunity or opportuinies in every difficulty?

Worry is interest paid on trouble before it's due.

Salvation is free but there's a price in following Jesus.

It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to lose it.

Tis better to be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt

Wise men talk because they have somehting to say; fools because they have to say something

I used to think I was indecisive but now I'm not so sure.

Kisses are like diamonds--the more of them there are in circulation the less valuable they are.

Today is the tomorrow that worried you yesterday and all is well

Home is where each lives for the other and all live for God.

Faults are thick when love is thin.

Friendship is to be purchased only by friendship.

I married her because we have so many faults in common.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

The best way for a husband to clinch an argument is to take his wife in his arms.

Friends are made by many acts--and lost by only one.

The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.

Success in marriage is much more than finding the right person; it is a matter of being the right person.

Bitterness is a prolonged manner of suicide.

Some women work so hard to make good husbands that they never quite manage to make good wives.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

If we fill our hours with regrets over the failures of yesterday, and with worries over the problems of tomorrow, we have no today in which to be thankful.

Be thankful and just think how happy you'd be if you lost everything right now---and then got it back again.

You can't keep trouble from coming, but you needn't give it a chair to sit on.

Habit is a man's best friend or his worst enemy.

It's right to be contented with what you have but never with what you are.

I had no shoes and complained until I met a man who had no feet.

The greatest calamity is not to have failed; but to have failed to try.

Housework is something you do that nobody notices unless you don't do it.

The trouble with some people is that they won't admit their faults. I'd admit mine---if I had any.

Learn from the mistakes of others---you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.

We've got to build a better man before we build a better society.

The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out.

A good example is the best sermon.

Good nature will always supply the absence of beauty; but beauty cannot supply the absence of good nature.

Be careful how you live; you may be the only Bible some people will ever read.

Do right and leave the results with God.

If you blame others for you failures, do you credit others with your successes?

The secret of prayer is secret prayer.

God never closes one door without opening another.

Satan trembles when he sees the weakest saint upon his knees and he glees when he views the strongest Christian with the blues.

It is only the fear of God that can deliver us from the fear of man.

Who gossips to you will gossip of you

I have often regretted my speech, seldom my silence.

Prayer should be the key of the day and the lock of the night.

God without man is still God. Man without God is nothing.

Discussion is an exchange of knowledge: argument is an exchange of ignorance.

Past experience should be a guide post, not a hitching post.

I am not conceited, though I do have every reason to be.

Many might have attained wisdom had they not thought that they had already attained it.

The taller a bamboo grows, the lower it bends.

When you hear that someone has gossiped of you, kindly reply that he did not know the rest of your faults or he wouldn't have mentioned only those.

To err may be human but to admit it isn't.

The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.

The longer you keep your temper the more it will improve.

There is a slight difference between keeping you chin up and sticking your neck out, but it's worth knowing.

The test of good manners is being able to put up pleasantly with bad ones.

You can't control the length of your life--but you can control its width and depth. You can't control the contour of your face--but you can control its expression. You can't control the weather---but you can control the atmosphere of your mind. Why worry about things you can't control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you?

Are We Growing?

While reading a few biographies of fellow sister and brothers in Christ, I have been amazed and challenged to learn of some of their spiritual disciplines. Because God meant so much to them they made an effort to go the extra mile for spiritual growth.

Watchman Nee, the evangelist to China, kept his commitment to read and study the New Testament once a week. Wow, no wonder God's Word really became a part of him. He also had a goal to witness to at least one person a day and in addition spent much time in fasting and often prayed up to four hours a day.

Fanny Crosby memorized several books of the Bible during her youth. Notice I said books, not chapters. That is simply amazing.

The spiritual disciplines of these and many others are incredible. Their deep love for God blossomed because of their consumption of the Scriptures and faithfulness in spiritual training. The result was evident in their strong and vibrant faith. No wonder Christians today who only open their Bibles twice a week are so shallow!

This is such a tragedy because too many Christians are settling for just "average." The disciplines of Christians before us should make us ashamed. Being saved is so much more than being rescued from hell; Christ should be our everything. Would we die for Him if we can't even live for Him? The more time we spend with God, the deeper we will love Him and be like Him. God's purpose for believers is to make us like His Son and this will only happen if we're reading His Word, being diligent in spiritual disciplines, and applying what we learn. All I have to say is that we need to wake up and get busy.

For me to live is Christ and to die is gain. ~Phil. 1:21

But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. ~2 Cor. 3:18

Comfort From Truth

You Say: God Says: Bible Verses:

It's impossible All things are possible (Luke 18:27)
I'm too tired I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)
Nobody really loves me I love you (John 3:16 & John 3:34
I can't go on My grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
I can't figure things out I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)
I can't do it You can do all things with me (Phillippians 4:13)
I'm not able I am able (2 Corinthians 9:8)
It's not worth it It will be worth it (Romans 8:28)
I can't forgive myself I Forgive you (1 John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
I can't manage I will supply all your needs (Phillippians 4:19)
I'm afraid I have not given you a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7)
I'm worried and frustrated Cast all your cares on ME (1 Peter 5:7)
I'm not smart enough I give you wisdom (1 Corinthians 1:30)
I feel alone I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

Hey everyone,

I thought I'd give a short update while I have a some time tonight...

This past weekend was so much fun! Saturday Holly and I picked up three friends and went hiking on a 5 mile trail at the park. I absolutely love the outdoors, fresh air, exercise, and fellowship of it. My sister and I have been striving to take a hike once a week and plan to continue by buying a park pass soon. It's a great way to work out and just spend time with one another. I really enjoyed doing it Saturday with friends and can't wait to do it again.

Sunday evening I left to Alabama to stay with my grandparents, where I currently reside for the week. My grandmother broke her knee last Monday and is in a difficult situation. It's been a pleasure to be here with my grandparents and help them both and I've had a great time with them. I went grocery shopping with my Paw Paw yesterday and picked up a lot of frugal, money saving tips from him that I hope to incorporate one day in my grocery shopping ( ;-) ). I cooked dinner and other miscellaneous things and Mark and I watched one of Billy Graham's sermon from the 1950's. Boy can Mr. Graham preach!

Today I've cleaned, done some laundry and baked a homemade cheese cake. I've been trying to keep my grandma company as much as possible. I can't imagine not being able to walk for two months! She's doing ok so far but she's easily discouraged. She needs lots of prayer.

As for other things in my life go, I am starting a discipleship/Bible study for young girls next month and have been working, with the Lord's help, on writing the lesson. I am SO excited!! Ministering to younger girls has always been one of my passions and I am thankful to see what God is going to do. He is my strength in all of this and I know He will always help me in what He has called me to do.

I am also studying for a CLEP exam coming up and am getting ready to go back to Savannah soon to babysit again, among many other things. Things have been pretty hectic but wonderful!!! I am so happy, so grateful. I give God all the glory and praise for all His goodness.

I don't write many "updates" but thought I'd share what's been happening in my life. I have many colleges I plan to visit beginning next month. I'm still praying about college this fall and am looking forward where the Lord will lead.