We enjoyed our first women's fellowship at our church this past week. During this time our pastor's wife briefly mentioned the command in Scripture for wives to obey their husbands (Eph 5:22-23, Col. 3:18, Titus 2:5). One lady, a widow at our church, is something else. She's up there in years yet full of spunk and wit. She recently gave herself to the Lord and has much to learn about the Bible but is thankfully very open and curious to know what it says. This part just didn't make sense to her though.
"Obey your husband??" She asked, "I know the Bible says it but I just can't fathom. No, I just couldn't do that..." I told her that God gives us the strength to do what He commands and that He blesses us in return. She accepted the idea yet still said she couldn't have done it. "Well, I didn't know that when I was married," she commented, "now that I do I think I'll just stay single *laughs*".
Submission in the Bible is hard to comprehend to a world going in the opposite direction. Feminist just love to feel sorry for submissive wives and their "oppressive" lifestyle. All I know is that no matter how hard it is to understand, the Bible is the authoritative, infallible Word of God and is the Creator's instruction manuel for us to live a successful life. We will only be safe if we live by it and follow it whole-heartily.
At this stage of my life, I don't have to worry about obeying a husband (particularly because I don't have one), but I am still commanded by God to do the same to my father (Col. 3:20; Eph, 6:1-2). Let me tell you, I am so thankful to be under my father's authority. It is really a blessing to be protected and guided under his leadership.
Because of our rebellious and sinful hearts, it is easy to look at submission through culture's eyes as being legalistic and degrading, but I see it and from experience know that it is not as the world thinks it is. God guides, directs, protects, and blesses me when I respect and obey my father. God leads me through my Dad. I never feel as if I am in bondage or handcuffed from happiness. Quite contrary, obedience to God's ways are entirely liberating. Obeying the Lord and His commands has only resulted in freedom and blessings to my life, plus in return my father trusts me and it strengthens our relationship. Of course I'm not perfect (far from it), but when God helps me to submit to my parents I only gain what's best in the end.
Submission is one of those Biblical paradoxes that most find hard to understand. You see, the more I respect, honor, and obey my father, the more freedom I am granted. I'm not referring to the liberties my father grants (which is certainly part of it) but ultimately from God Himself.
A great deal of young ladies think that they too can earn freedom by parting from their father's headship. While it might seem like they are liberated, in truths they are not. When you exit the position God has given your father as head of the home, you leave God's protection and are left in a very vulnerable and dangerous position. You are no longer safe, no longer blessed, and living outside of God's will is always a very scary thought indeed!
The fact is that authority is simply something we can't run from. It is a element of life we will be subject to the rest of our days. Whether that position is parents, a husband, a boss, your pastor, government, and ultimately God Himself, authority is something we have to deal with, because if we don't life will be pretty miserable.
I'm not saying submission is easy, but in the midst of opinions and controversies, I just have to keep in mind that God's ways are not ours. I am under my father's head and one day I will be under the headship of a husband and I am perfectly fine with that. In fact, I am very grateful. Why you ask? Because my God deeply loves me and He knows what's best. I don't have to truly understand; My job is just to be to obedient. And I can find joy in that because I know when I obey my Dad I am essentially obeying God, and God is ultimately the one I desire to please.
9 comments:
Very Good post. Wouldn't you also say that when your obeying your mother, you are also obeying God? That's just a thought, the Bible does say for us to obey our parents (plural).
Hi Elizabeth,
Yes, you are correct. The Bible does tell us to honor and obey our father AND our mother (Eph. 6:1-2).
I guess for the sake of the post I wanted to emphasize male headship, linking it with my duty to respect/obey my father and then one day my husband. But you're absolutely right, I have the same duties to my mother and I thank you for pointing that out!
God bless,
Brooke.
1 Corinthians 11:3 ~ But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Hey,
I think regarding the post about submission that you are exactly right. It also tells in the Bible for men to love and care for their wife. Great Post.
I am the fourth oldest in our family. The ages are 22,20,19,18,15,14,13,12,10, It is so much fun being in a big family. I love it!
That is so cool you get your online college credits transferred. Are you doing online school next year?
In Christ, Nathan
Hi there Miss~
Very good. I came over to check out this post after seeing it on my Feevy blog list.
I just published a post I am linking this to it: Submission: It’s All in Your Worldview
http://trainingdaughtersteachingwives.com/?p=452
Blessings~
Mrs. Dixon
What are your thoughts on a single girl living outside her home? How does that change the authority roles in her life?
It was good to hear from you. I had actually been thinking about having been president of the GenJ club and trying to figure out what I learned about leadership from that experience. Next time I will be home will be Christmas. It will have been a full year by that time. I am working at a summer camp this summer in Montana and have two years of school left.
How/what are you doing?
Hello, my name is Anna, and I am Garrett's friend. I am also a homeschool graduate. A thought I would like to add to your post is the idea that submission is more of a two way street than a single act. That is to say, submission and a man's response to it are closely tied together.
In Ephesians 5:22-24, it commands the wives to be submissive to their husbands in all things, as we as Christians are submissive to Christ. In Ephesians 6:1 it commands the children to honor the father. But it does not stop there. Ephesians 5:25-28 goes on to tell the husbands to love the wives as Jesus loves the church - which is a pretty tall order. Fathers, also, in Ephesians 6:4 are commanded not to provoke their children to wrath.
You stated that submission is sometimes hard to understand or confusing. I think perhaps it can be made a little clearer if you consider what happens when a wife is submissive AND a husband loves her like Jesus loves the church.
In reading Ephesians, I see that God did not intend for a woman just to be submissive. He intended for a husband and wife and father and daughter to be in a dynamic, full relationship, where one is giving lovingly to the other; both are pouring into each other in different ways.
Those are some of my thoughts on submission . . . food for thought.
This is one of those subjects that is pretty controversial. You were brave to write about it. I believe this post is full of biblical truth, and that even though we may not understand all of God's ways, He is the infinite, all-knowing God, we are simply people. His ways are higher and better.
Hey Garrett,
Thanks for your question. Here's my few cents worth:
A young man is called to respect and honor his parents the rest of his life (Eph. 6:2), but there comes a time as an unmarried man matures that obedience to his parents is not as emphasized as once before. Yes, if he respects them there will be times he will still obey and heed their advice, but the older he becomes the more independent from his parents he should be become as he learns to be on his own and make his own decisions. A man is supposed to independent in this way (Gen. 2:24). For ladies, it's different.
Women are supposed to be under the headship of a man (1 Cor. 11:3)---her husband in marriage and her father prior to it. Unless she's widowed, she's can't escape this position. So, until a lady marries, according to Scripture she's accountable to her father and under his headship.
How does this aply to a single lady outside her home? She's out on her own and in the position to make her own decisions. Does this mean she should still obey her parents? From what I see from Scripture I would say yes. She still has the obligation to respect them no matter what (Eph. 6:2), but because she's still under her father's headship until marriage (Num. 30:3-4; 1 Cor. 11:3;) I would think she still has the requirement to obey as well.
Hope that made sense and answered your question. I have difficulties expressing my thoughts sometimes.
Good to hear from you. And BTW: I answered the other half of your questions on your blog :)
God bless,
Brooke.
Hi Anna,
Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment. It's always nice to hear from others and to read their thoughts.
In what you said that the husband and wife both have Biblical duties---I couldn't agree with you more. Scripture is clear on this. Yes, just as the wife has the command to be submissive, the husband also has the command to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25). This is pretty huge when you think about it. He is to have such a depth of love as Jesus did to the point of death if needed. Wow, it's a huge task that he can only fulfill with the Lord's help.
The wife's duty of submission is hard to understand sometimes only because men are human. They do make mistakes. If a husband is striving to love his wife as Christ instructs, it makes all the difference. But this is not always the case.
You said that submission is a two way street rather than a single act. According to gender commands and the way it should be, this is correct. According to our individual duties, this is not.
The Bible doesn't say that women are respect and submit to their husbands "IF." No, it simply says we're to obey in everything no matter what, (yes, everything--Eph. 5:24), as long as it doesn't violate the Word of God. In 1 Peter 3:1-2 it says that if the husband is not obedient to the Word that the wife's subjection to him is one way she can influence him to Christ...This means we're to do our part and be obedient whether or not our husbands are doing their part and loving as they should.
A marriage is truly beautiful when both the husband and wife are obedient to their God given marriage roles and commands. When this is the case, it is much easier for a wife to submit to her husband and for her husband to love her. But the duties of wives (and husbands I should say!) are not subjective to how well her husband is doing on his part. In a Biblical marriage it SHOULD be a two-way street, but it unfortuantley not always is.
I'm glad you brought this up because I didn't intend to portray in my post that married women have obligations from Scripture and men don't. Because of my gender, I was only referring to the obligations of myself from my perspective and not that of the opposite gender's. But your right, men do have Biblical instructions too.
I hope this makes sense :)
God bless,
Brooke.
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