Marriage Perspectives

As young ladies, what should be our perspective on marriage? Should I desire it? Should I prepare for it? Should I be waiting for a husband or put thoughts of marriage aside until later down the road?

It's not a surprising fact that a majority of women are getting married at older ages than ever before. Many women are postponing marriage as long as possible for career pursuits and opportunities to climb the corporate ladder. With the addition of casual hookups there's not a need for matrimony neither a desire for a husband or children. Marriage is just not esteemed or desired as it once was.

Of course God values marriage. He created the institution from the beginning with Adam and Eve. God said that it was not good for man to be alone and because of this the man should leave his father and mother to be one with his wife. Together the husband and wife are a powerful pact to serve God side by side to fulfill His work; They need each other and together can glorify God in wonderful ways.

Understanding this, how should I view and act toward the thought of marriage? As with everything, there's always two extremes. In this case, the feministic frame of mind would be the one side of the pendulum. Me tied down to a husband and children? You say, You've got to be kidding! My career comes first before I settled down. Besides, I'll be married the rest of my life, why not make something of myself? This is an unbiblical perspective and is frequently squabbled because we don't understand God's high calling of being a wife and mother.

You may not be a militant feminist, but the same frame of mind can occur in other ways. I believe it's possible to get so wrapped up in serving the Lord that one can conclude that a husband will only be a distraction in giving to their fullest. While God does call some to live a life of singleness, the majority will be married someday and in their case this position is wrong. It is true that unmarried ladies have a wonderful opportunity to serve God with all their being. 1 Corinthians 7:34 tells us this. We do not have our own family and therefore have much more time and energy to reach out to others. But we must realize that singleness may not last forever and a husband can be a great blessing in serving God. Marriage is a ministry and children can be raised to be warriors for the cause of Christ. We must understand that we do not determine whether we marry. God does.

The second extreme is putting marriage as our highest priority. It's marriage on the mind....all the time. Daydreaming, planning the wedding, fantasying married life, wondering about potential husbands...oh yeah, and great discontentment. Life will be so much happier when I am finally a wife you speculate. Of course this second state of mind is just unhealthy as the first. Marriage is lovely but it's not our chief goal. Glorifying God is.

So what's the answer to this raging pendulum? The solution is balance. We don't want to postpone marriage nor make it our idol. The key is submitting to God's plan and waiting on His timing. If God wants you to serve Him until your 30 before you join your life to a man---then so be it. If He wants you to wed at 20 to start a family early---then so be it. It is not our place to make that decision.

In the meantime our responsibility is to not to impatiently wait or put marriage off as long as we can. We should prepare for marriage without idolizing it; We should be content with our singleness without concluding marriage a hindrance. While waiting on what God has for us, we should be serving Him with our whole hearts. If God sends a young man across our paths one day or if He chooses a life of singleness we will continue serving Him without fail. You see, whether we marry our not, our highest purpose is to serve our Creator. We must keep our focus on Christ while preparing to be a godly woman. That's how we keep balance and put marriage in its proper place. God should be glorified regardless the outcome because He is God and His ways are always best.