Over Thanksgiving weekend my family and I enjoyed a few Christmas movies at my grandparent's house. During this time it occurred to me how frequently movies portray a man and a woman entering together into an empty house: alone. Sure, this is not new or a shock and I realize much worse things transpire in America's motion pictures, but this none-the-less stood out to me. The camera reveals the two casually entering and exiting an absent home without thinking twice. If they're in love they'll sometimes sit by the fireplace, snuggle up real close on the couch or even "innocently" sit on the bed to talk (like they did in two particular movies that we watched). Usually nothing happens (please note: we're talking about clean films here! Films exceeding this activity is obviously another story!) but it's just a fictional tale. In real life this would be a greatly playing with fire.
I utterly detest how Hollywood tries to convince us that this is perfectly normal, acceptable activity and that we're somehow stronger than temptation or temptation isn't a part of the picture at all.
The question we should ask is: what does the Bible have to say about this? Is this activity acceptable? Is it o.k. for a man and woman to be alone in an empty house even with good intentions?
God is unquestionably clear and His command can be summed in two words:
*FLEE immorality*
- 1 Cor. 6:18- Flee fornication...
- 1 Tim. 2:22- Flee also youthful lusts....
- 1 Thess. 4:3- ...abstain from fornication...
- 1 Peter 2:11- ...abstain from fleshly lusts...
Flee means to RUN AWAY. To run, leave, exit, escape, get out as fast as you can. Don't linger and try to discover how long you can test the temptation---Run as fast as your legs will take you!
You may be thinking: " Ok, I realize I am not to commit fornication, but this really means I am only to run if something immoral is soon to occur. Being in a vacant home with the opposite sex doesn't necessarily mean I will commit fornication!"
Please don't be naive if this is your position. The point is not to wait for immorality to transpire but instead to run to prevent the urge to sin from ever blossoming. Fleeing from fornication means escaping not just in the midst of temptation but also from any situation or place where immorality could occur (and alone in an empty house is a great possibility.) So if temptation is probable you better run as fast as you can!! God doesn't want you to test the fire before you run but rather to run before the fire begins. That is how we fight the battle--we prevent it from taking place.
Jam 1:14-15 ~ But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
Joseph is a great example of a man who fled from temptation. The story is that Joseph was working as a slave for Potiphar, the captain of the guard over Egypt. The Bible tells us that Joseph was a very handsome man and that Potiphar's wife took notice.
Genesis 39:11 says that Joseph went into the house to do some business and that there was no one else there. This is when Mrs. Potipher made her move toward him and what did Joseph do? He ran!
Gen 39:12 ~ And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out.
Joseph could have tried to reason with her while trying to knock some sense in her head or he could have even given her a lecture on his religious beliefs---but no, he RAN. He fled and quickly left her presence. Not a word, not a reason, and he was gone! He had the perfect opportunity to succumb to her wishes. No soul was around and I'm sure Mrs. Potiphar was a beauty. But he understood that messing around with temptation is never wise and instead he picked up his feet and exited as quickly as he could--so much so that his garment ripped in the process!
The world is rapidly desensitizing us. We view these "innocent" scenes in clean films where couples enter and exit each other's homes, sit in a dark vehicles, softly kiss at the fireplace or have deep discussion on top of their bed. We easily dismiss it if nothing immoral happens but at the same time, if we are not on guard, we quickly accept the behavior while not realizing it's just what Hollywood wants us to do! They want us to not only accept it but to do it ourselves. It's a deceptive lie that essentially says, "see, these people did this without sinning and you can too!"
Perhaps we think that somehow we are superior and we can "handle" the temptation. This is foolishness and disobedience to God. God tells us to RUN and not to give into our flesh!! Matthew 26:41 says that the flesh is weak and indeed it is. If we think we can linger in the presence of temptation and resist it we are dead wrong! If David was a man after God's own heart and he fell to lust and adultery, who are we to think we can stand against sexual temptation?
1 Corinthians 10:12 ~ Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.
Instead of being brain-washed by Hollywood we must persistently renew our mind according to the Word of God. It's important we keep in mind that:
1) Our flesh is weak
Matt. 26:41 ~ Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
2) We are not to make any provision for our flesh
Rom. 13:14 ~ But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof.
3) And we are to flee from our fleshly lusts
2 Tim. 2:22 ~ Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
It couldn't be more clear.
This leads me to another topic along these lines. If we realize our flesh is weak, we are not to make any provision for our flesh, and we are to flee from lust: then how much physical affection/activity should be allowed between dating couples?
So many books and articles I have read have posed the same question many, many times before in these 5 words: "How far is too far??" It seems to be one question many couples are continually seeking answers. Essentially the question is rather: "How much affection can we permit physically without sinning?".
The answer is simply: NO LUST. This is God's uncomplicated response from His Word. No activity between unmarried couples should provoke any sinful lusts which cannot be righteously fulfilled. The answer is so simple yet so serious.
God's Word says that there is not to be even a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity among believers (Eph. 5:3 NIV). Wow, not even a hint?! This no doubt includes lust.
Eph 5:3 ~ But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.
We must realize that lust is sin. The Bible says when a man lusts after a woman he is committing adultery with her in his heart (Matthew 5:28). If any physical activity causes lust it simply should not be done.
This poses a question: should one kiss prior to marriage? Frankly, I would say that's up to the couple. Some can do so lightly and innocently without lust or temptation; most, however, can't. Kissing is not a sin but lust certainly is. It's passionate kisses that take us to the next step to compromise and once it starts it's hard to stop. It would be wise to never invite the temptation in the first place. I think Romans 13:14 is a strong warning that perhaps could be applied to kissing and can sum up the above as well:
Rom 13:14 ~ But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof.
Conclusion:
God values purity and calls us to be pure because He is (Lev. 19:2; 1 Pt. 1:16). While many increasingly ask "how FAR can I go?" we should as children of God should ask instead, "how PURE can I be?"
"How much can I save for my future mate?" Instead of "How much can I get away with?"
"How can I protect our purity and prevent us from sinning against God?" instead of "How much temptation can I handle?"
Because of this we should desire the greatest standard of purity possible. It's what God requires of us and it's so vital to our Christian walk. It doesn't matter how weird or strict the world thinks we are. We are accountable to HIM and no one else. Our purpose on earth is to glorify God and one way we do this is by striving to live pure lives as we become more and more like Jesus Christ. Don't ever believe the lies of the world that purity isn't important or we can fight temptation on our own. The world has no standards but we as Christians must for the greatest purpose of honoring and obeying our Savior. Doing what it takes to obey Him will always be worth it.
Gen 39:12 ~ And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out.
Joseph could have tried to reason with her while trying to knock some sense in her head or he could have even given her a lecture on his religious beliefs---but no, he RAN. He fled and quickly left her presence. Not a word, not a reason, and he was gone! He had the perfect opportunity to succumb to her wishes. No soul was around and I'm sure Mrs. Potiphar was a beauty. But he understood that messing around with temptation is never wise and instead he picked up his feet and exited as quickly as he could--so much so that his garment ripped in the process!
The world is rapidly desensitizing us. We view these "innocent" scenes in clean films where couples enter and exit each other's homes, sit in a dark vehicles, softly kiss at the fireplace or have deep discussion on top of their bed. We easily dismiss it if nothing immoral happens but at the same time, if we are not on guard, we quickly accept the behavior while not realizing it's just what Hollywood wants us to do! They want us to not only accept it but to do it ourselves. It's a deceptive lie that essentially says, "see, these people did this without sinning and you can too!"
Perhaps we think that somehow we are superior and we can "handle" the temptation. This is foolishness and disobedience to God. God tells us to RUN and not to give into our flesh!! Matthew 26:41 says that the flesh is weak and indeed it is. If we think we can linger in the presence of temptation and resist it we are dead wrong! If David was a man after God's own heart and he fell to lust and adultery, who are we to think we can stand against sexual temptation?
1 Corinthians 10:12 ~ Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.
Instead of being brain-washed by Hollywood we must persistently renew our mind according to the Word of God. It's important we keep in mind that:
1) Our flesh is weak
Matt. 26:41 ~ Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
2) We are not to make any provision for our flesh
Rom. 13:14 ~ But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof.
3) And we are to flee from our fleshly lusts
2 Tim. 2:22 ~ Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
It couldn't be more clear.
This leads me to another topic along these lines. If we realize our flesh is weak, we are not to make any provision for our flesh, and we are to flee from lust: then how much physical affection/activity should be allowed between dating couples?
So many books and articles I have read have posed the same question many, many times before in these 5 words: "How far is too far??" It seems to be one question many couples are continually seeking answers. Essentially the question is rather: "How much affection can we permit physically without sinning?".
The answer is simply: NO LUST. This is God's uncomplicated response from His Word. No activity between unmarried couples should provoke any sinful lusts which cannot be righteously fulfilled. The answer is so simple yet so serious.
God's Word says that there is not to be even a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity among believers (Eph. 5:3 NIV). Wow, not even a hint?! This no doubt includes lust.
Eph 5:3 ~ But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.
We must realize that lust is sin. The Bible says when a man lusts after a woman he is committing adultery with her in his heart (Matthew 5:28). If any physical activity causes lust it simply should not be done.
This poses a question: should one kiss prior to marriage? Frankly, I would say that's up to the couple. Some can do so lightly and innocently without lust or temptation; most, however, can't. Kissing is not a sin but lust certainly is. It's passionate kisses that take us to the next step to compromise and once it starts it's hard to stop. It would be wise to never invite the temptation in the first place. I think Romans 13:14 is a strong warning that perhaps could be applied to kissing and can sum up the above as well:
Rom 13:14 ~ But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof.
Conclusion:
God values purity and calls us to be pure because He is (Lev. 19:2; 1 Pt. 1:16). While many increasingly ask "how FAR can I go?" we should as children of God should ask instead, "how PURE can I be?"
"How much can I save for my future mate?" Instead of "How much can I get away with?"
"How can I protect our purity and prevent us from sinning against God?" instead of "How much temptation can I handle?"
Because of this we should desire the greatest standard of purity possible. It's what God requires of us and it's so vital to our Christian walk. It doesn't matter how weird or strict the world thinks we are. We are accountable to HIM and no one else. Our purpose on earth is to glorify God and one way we do this is by striving to live pure lives as we become more and more like Jesus Christ. Don't ever believe the lies of the world that purity isn't important or we can fight temptation on our own. The world has no standards but we as Christians must for the greatest purpose of honoring and obeying our Savior. Doing what it takes to obey Him will always be worth it.
What are your thoughts on this? Any additional ones? If so I'd love to hear them.
17 comments:
Amen!! I am so glad that you decided to address this issue! I have wanted to for a long time but my lip quivers just thinking about it and I haven't felt particularly lead by God to write, YET!!
Your beliefs are right in line with what I think. FLEE TEMPTATION!!
Just like the Bible says in I can't remember exactly where ( :^) ) "No temptation has overtaken you yet but such as is common to man...God is faithful and will provide a way of escape that you might bear it(the temptation)..."
I love this verse cuz it gives a picture of just how hard it is sometimes to flee. Sometimes finding that way of escape will take more than just opening a door. We have to seek and always be looking for that door, no matter how small it is!
Blessings! And I am sorry it's been so long since I've stopped by!!
In Christ~
PS- have you thought about joining SSA (super secret angels)? It's a kind of "secret sister" type thing. I think that you would really enjoy it. Check it out at this linky thingy here!
http://feelinfeminine.com/?p=674
1 Corinthians 10:13 ~ There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
Wow, what an awesome verse. God promises that He will help us overcome and run from the temptation! I'm so grateful.
Thank you for sharing that, Sarah!
Amen, Brooke. This is so important for young people to always remember. As a young person who took no regard for purity (it's a long story, on my blog if you haven't read it all), I cannot stress enough how important it is to remain pure for the man God has planned for you to marry. I live with constant regret and reccurring feelings of guilt because I did the wrong thing. It is something you cannot ever seem to forget and it is so easy to "slip-up" and once you have slipped up, it is impossible to step backwards or start over. As the little saying goes, "give an inch, they take a mile". If you give in to fleshly desires and lusts even the littlest bit, you cannot take it back, it really ruins everything, and it is difficult to resist the mile that follows, if that makes any sense. Because of my sown experience, I am determined to help my own daughter keep pure until she marries, and while she is still only 4 years old, I am taking notes over the years so when the time comes I can teach and guide her in the right path - the path of purity :) Purity would require a lot of prayer and a close walk with God, I would imagine, so never forget the power of prayer, and NEVER ignore your conscience!
Oh so very true Brooke. I think you got it right on the head, and this same situation you mentioned, even just watching (or reading about it) is why I disagree with romance books, christian or not.
Very good post. :)
Hello,
That was very well written and and very true about purity and fleeing immorality. I agree that Hollywood is trying teach that immorality is all right but it not Right!!! I also saw that you did have the movie Fireproof as blog icon and that does remind me that every once in a while there are movies that are pure of all that immorality! I can not wait to buy Fireproof on DVD.
Thanks for writing the article! Very well Done!! 5 stars
How are you?
In Christ,Nathan
That is so true, I kind of wonder when I watch movies and they casually walk into their rooms and sit on the bed, I'm thinking what are they doing?? It's not even about what their 'not' doing it's also about what other people think when they see that, very good post.
Thank you for your comment on the FOTSF post on Feelin' Feminine site! Abigail truly was a wonderful woman in the Bible. Please stop by again!
GB~
Miss Sharla~
The degree of temptation would depend on the particular circumstances - how well the man and woman know each other, what degree of affection and/or chemistry there is between them, whether each is more open or reserved in personality. Generally speaking, the more shy a person is, the longer it would take for them to feel comfortable enough with a member of the opposite sex for temptation to be an issue when they are alone together. However, it is best to err on the side of caution.
so wonderfully put, Brooke! You have taken that "white elephant" and just stated plainly and in love what the Word of God says and you did a fab job of it!
awesome article Brooke!
Love,
Amanda
The Daily Planet
Ooh, good post! :-) I think that this is a subject that is not dealt with enough amongst Christians.
Thanks for your comments on my blog! :-)
I woke up this morning and looked outside and waddaya know, it snowed last night! :-) Has it snowed where you live yet?
Well, have a good day!
Joy
Hello Brooke!
I agree with you! Good job! I liked this post a lot. I think you wrote it very well, straightforward and clean-cut. No fluffy stuff. ☺
Hugs,
Becca
Good post!
I'm glad to hear there are other girls out there who exercise discernment when they watch a movie. So many don't. :(
Heather
You changed your title back. :) Thanks for the comments. Glad you liked the graphics - I see you added one of the new P31W ones already! lol
And, yes, it's your brook. :)
Hey Brooke! Excelent post! I agree! I know some guys from a church in Alabama that go to a church where it is a church law that a guy and a girl are not allowed to be in a room, alone, together. I don't actually agree that it should be a Church law, but it's a good idea!
-Kole
Hey again!
Thanks! I need to put some Christmas music on my blog now. ☺
We have our tree up and decorated too! I put lights up in my room. It looks kind of weird during the daytime, like black vines, but at night, the lights look really nice.
I'm planning on getting bangs too! Although I can't quite decide what style I want. Anything I get will grow out fairly quickly, but I don't want to dislike my hair while I'm waiting for it to grow longer!
Yes, we're pretty removed from any kind of big city. It is nice, but sometimes I think it would be fun to live really close to a city for a few months, just to expierience it.
I e-mailed you. ☺
Hugs,
Becca
Good post!
Hey Brooke!
Been thinking about you! hope you are doing well!
Miss you!
Love
Amanda
The Daily Planet
~Julie,
The circumstances you suggested could very well be possible. But we must also remember that God warns us to give no appearance of evil as well:
1Timothy 5:22~ Abstain from all appearance of evil.
Anything that could send the wrong impression must be avoided. Even if it's two innocent people in an empty house with no intentions to do anything wrong. As lights for Christ, we don't want to give the impression of sin, even if it isn't happening.
Yes, I agree, it is always best to err on the side of caution. Like they say, it's better to be safe than sorry! Thank you for your comment and thoughts.
~~Brooke
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